truth wears pants.

It seems as though all I ever do on my blog is whine about something new, or get pissed about the state of the church these days. I keep vowing that I will be more cheerful the next time I post. Well it's 1 AM and I am not happy again. It seems that my job, particularly my boss, keeps taking and taking with no regards for who I am or what needs might be pressing in my life. It feels as though I have become nothing more than a commodity to be used and called upon to serve the needs and whims of this person and then discarded when they become too hindersome. I feel increasingly strong in my conviction that Church at my "Church" has taken a solid backseat to making money and looking good. Not the backseat of a small sedan either, where the passenger can lean forward and join the conversation but the back of a big 15 passenger van where the cries of the lowly passenger go unnoticed and unattended by the privileged few at the front. I want out. Now. Perhaps typing this is increasing my fury, but it seems hopeless. It has been a few years since I knew this was not for me, but I knew that God had me where I was for a purpose. But when those who are supposed to be helping me seem to conspire to tear down the work that is becoming increasingly difficult I can't imagine that this is the place for me for much longer.

My wife informed me last week that she had to work on Sunday morning. She was so happy that she got to miss Sunday morning. That's not good. I feel the same way. That could be put in the not good column. If I did not have the kids to keep me occupied I would probably stand up and curse out the congregation and the leadership for so blatantly deciding to be complacent and literally hindering the advancement of the kingdom of God. If you think I am being dramatic and that my harshness is in bad form, please come and visit. There is no one in the entire congregation that is willing to help with the kids except one person, who is consequently about to quit for the same reasons I am writing this frustrating post. I would go on and on and on, but I have lost steam. I have vented for the fourth time today and I temporarily feel better. That and I just remembered how awesome the Steelers are...a little good times in the face of temporary suck. Life not sad, just work...and not really work, church that coincides with work. But that being said its Christmas time and I like it. Songs, lights Jesus...all the good times. Happy Christmas everyone. I am not that sad really, just venting. See :) happy. And by that I do not mean that I am gay, or a fourteen year old girl..just trying to prove a point.