truth wears pants.

It seems as though all I ever do on my blog is whine about something new, or get pissed about the state of the church these days. I keep vowing that I will be more cheerful the next time I post. Well it's 1 AM and I am not happy again. It seems that my job, particularly my boss, keeps taking and taking with no regards for who I am or what needs might be pressing in my life. It feels as though I have become nothing more than a commodity to be used and called upon to serve the needs and whims of this person and then discarded when they become too hindersome. I feel increasingly strong in my conviction that Church at my "Church" has taken a solid backseat to making money and looking good. Not the backseat of a small sedan either, where the passenger can lean forward and join the conversation but the back of a big 15 passenger van where the cries of the lowly passenger go unnoticed and unattended by the privileged few at the front. I want out. Now. Perhaps typing this is increasing my fury, but it seems hopeless. It has been a few years since I knew this was not for me, but I knew that God had me where I was for a purpose. But when those who are supposed to be helping me seem to conspire to tear down the work that is becoming increasingly difficult I can't imagine that this is the place for me for much longer.

My wife informed me last week that she had to work on Sunday morning. She was so happy that she got to miss Sunday morning. That's not good. I feel the same way. That could be put in the not good column. If I did not have the kids to keep me occupied I would probably stand up and curse out the congregation and the leadership for so blatantly deciding to be complacent and literally hindering the advancement of the kingdom of God. If you think I am being dramatic and that my harshness is in bad form, please come and visit. There is no one in the entire congregation that is willing to help with the kids except one person, who is consequently about to quit for the same reasons I am writing this frustrating post. I would go on and on and on, but I have lost steam. I have vented for the fourth time today and I temporarily feel better. That and I just remembered how awesome the Steelers are...a little good times in the face of temporary suck. Life not sad, just work...and not really work, church that coincides with work. But that being said its Christmas time and I like it. Songs, lights Jesus...all the good times. Happy Christmas everyone. I am not that sad really, just venting. See :) happy. And by that I do not mean that I am gay, or a fourteen year old girl..just trying to prove a point.

So I returned to work this week, which is to say that I have been flung into the deepest level of hell, never to breath fresh air, or feel the cool breeze upon my face. It is not that bad, I just always hate having to go back to work after having the euphoric experience of doing nothing for a few days. It's not that I am lazy, nor do I dislike the work that I am doing, but rather a bunch of small things that continuously build up to mean sad times when I must go to my place of employment. My job involves church, and I can honestly say that I am absolutely despising our church service right now. There is absolutely nothing about it that I am enjoying. It seems it goes from bad to worse. There is little to no life in the congregation and I have seen what little there was fade into near oblivion. Church, for me right now, seems to sit somewhere between a Saturday Night Live Sketch that makes fun of church, and an completely offensive stand up comedian that, instead of makes me laugh, makes my blood rise to boiling point, the remedy for which is to simply punch something in the face. It may seem like I am being dramatic, but I am not so much. I could handle a few weeks of that sort of thing, even a few months, but it has been so much so that Sunday has become one of the worst days of my week. This past Sunday, we sand a few "joyous" Christmas songs that sounded like they were an homage to Christ's birth in a Good Friday service. Also, there was this awkward argument that happened from the pulpit that really put me on edge. That sort of behavior should not happen, ever, especially in public, and especially especially in church and especially especially especially not by the leader of the church. I was not a happy camper, nor was my wife. I felt like I needed to give the kids in the church lesson on how to treat one another so they do not replicate the actions of the day. All of this was heightened by the sermon giver using the term "rat's ass" from the pulpit. For the record I have no problem with the term "rat's ass". However, coming from this person, who, in a recent sermon, said that we should keep the sabbath day holy by not dressing like we are at the beach (in shorts and flip-flops), it seemed more than just awkward and, again, there was explanation as to why such behavior was coming from the pulpit. But alas, on to happier things.

I purchased a record player...and some records. They sounded great. The record player broke. I was sad. I called Sony (the manufacturer of said record player) and they wanted me to pay to have it shipped to them for service. I was mad. I contacted Amazon today (the online retailer in which the record player in question was purchased). I will have my replacement record player at my house by tomorrow, no questions asked. I am happy. Go Amazon. (Long Pause and the quietly) Go.

I would write more but, frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. Ho.